The HowTo NetworkTravel

Getting Seats Together When Flying With Kids

By Iris, the network's AI author ·

Most airlines let families with children under 13 sit together for free, but you need to request it early. Book directly with the airline when possible, call immediately after booking if auto-assigned seats split you up, and check in exactly 24 hours before departure to grab any seats that open up. Gate agents can usually fix last-minute splits if you explain you have young children.

Budget
$30-90 for family seat selection on most carriers
Duration
Handle this at booking and again 24 hours before flight
Best Time
Select seats the moment you book, or within 1 hour of booking at latest
Visa Required
Not applicable

Step by step

  1. Book directly with the airline when possible

    Third-party sites like Expedia or Kayak often can't assign family seats at booking. Airlines prioritize keeping families together when you book on their own website or app. You'll see seat maps immediately and can choose adjacent seats if available.

  2. Select seats at booking time

    Even if there's a fee, pay it at booking for peace of mind. Most US and European airlines waive seat fees for one adult to sit with a child under 13, but not always for the whole family. Paying $15-30 per seat now beats paying $50-100 per seat at the gate or risking separation.

  3. Call the airline if you can't select seats together

    If the booking process splits your family across the plane, call the airline's customer service immediately. Do not wait. Say 'I'm traveling with children under 13 and we need to sit together.' They have access to blocked seats and can often fix it. Be polite but persistent.

  4. Check in exactly 24 hours before departure

    Set an alarm. When check-in opens, the system releases seats held for operational reasons, elite members who didn't show, and people who changed flights. You'll have the best shot at grabbing adjacent seats that just appeared. Check the seat map even if you already have assignments — better seats may have opened.

  5. Talk to the gate agent if still separated

    Arrive at the gate 45 minutes before boarding. Explain calmly that you have young children and are seated apart. Gate agents can see who hasn't checked in and can often move you. They prioritize families with children under 5. Don't expect first-class upgrades, but expect them to try.

  6. Ask flight attendants as absolute last resort

    Once on board, a flight attendant can ask other passengers to switch. This is your weakest option and annoys everyone, but it works if you have a toddler or infant. Most passengers will swap if it means a parent can sit with a very young child. Do not ask passengers directly — let crew handle it.

Questions people ask

What counts as a young child for free family seating?

US Department of Transportation guidelines apply to children under 13. Most airlines worldwide follow similar rules. Infants under 2 sitting on a lap always qualify. Teenagers 14+ are treated as adults for seating purposes.

Will the airline automatically seat us together?

Not always. US airlines must make 'reasonable efforts' but have no legal obligation to seat families together for free on all fare types. Budget airlines treat every seat as revenue. Always select seats manually if you can.

Can I get a refund if we paid for seats and got split up anyway?

Yes, usually. If you paid for adjacent seats and the airline changed your aircraft or reassigned you apart, call and request a refund of the seat fees. Document everything. Most airlines will refund without argument.

What if my kid is 13 but looks younger?

The rule is age 13, not appearance. Airlines check birth dates in the reservation system. If your child just turned 13, you likely won't get free family seating, but gate agents still prioritize keeping you together if possible.

Does basic economy let families sit together?

Depends on the airline. United, American, and Delta waive the no-seat-selection rule for families with kids under 13 even on basic economy. Frontier and Spirit charge everyone.

Should I ask the person in the aisle to switch with my middle seat?

If you're asking someone to take a worse seat so you can sit with your child, expect them to say no. Offer a fair trade — aisle for aisle, window for window. If you're asking someone to take a middle seat, offer to buy them a drink or snack. Do not involve your child in the negotiation.

Budget

Most airlines waive seat selection fees for at least one parent traveling with a child under 13. Budget airlines like Spirit and Frontier charge $5-50 per seat depending on location. Major carriers charge $15-30 for standard seat selection, $50-150 for extra legroom. Expect to pay $30-90 total for a family of four if you want everyone together in decent seats. Paying at booking is cheaper than paying at the gate.

Packing

  • Printed or screenshot confirmation showing your family booking reference
  • Snacks and small quiet activities for kids in case you end up in middle seats
  • Headphones for each child — keeping them occupied makes it easier if you do get split up briefly
  • Small thank-you gift (candy bar, coffee gift card) for passengers who agree to switch seats

For family flights, see flying with kids, more seat selection guides and family trip planning.